Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize