I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This is the high leading the old right now
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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