So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
