Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
