If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
