GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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