You're completely useless in the revolution.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
