R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
