I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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