They should really pass out barf bags in church
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
