super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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