I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
