how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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