some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
