Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
