Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
