I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
