Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize
