Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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