Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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