Can Purell be used as lube?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
