new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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