Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
