i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize