Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize