I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
