yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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