As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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