its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
