she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
