did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize