Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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