it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
