She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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