Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
