I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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