I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
