Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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