with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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