i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
