Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
