my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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