i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
