Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
