You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
