Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
