Barsexuality is the new black.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
