i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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