I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
