Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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