Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
