I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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