Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Even my vagina gasped.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
