I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
