Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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