I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize