Old men and throwing up are my life now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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