don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
