I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize