So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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