My balls are so social today.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
