Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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