drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
