Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
