Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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