What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
