just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
my liver is dry heaving
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