thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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