how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
