420 ftw
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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