one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize