Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
