hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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