I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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