Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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